That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
