turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
