Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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