i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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