8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
