My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
