i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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