i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Randomize
