either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
His hands were made for my vagina.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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