That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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