i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
