My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
