Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
