Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
