once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
as a side note pls kill me
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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