dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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