I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
