yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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