I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
