Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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