my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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