What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
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