Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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