YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
