Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
