I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
