Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
