Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
