I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Randomize
