Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize