I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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