oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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