you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
