he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
