clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
