so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
