i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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