Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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