He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
