Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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