What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
