i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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