The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
