It's Friday. Sex?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
