But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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