you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
