You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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