You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
