Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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