Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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